The Phantom of the Laundromat
by C.C.Moon
Summary: What do you get when you put two bored, Phantom obsessed best friends in a laundromat with a Faery Oracle? Sharpies and Phantom galore! Rating for swearing.
1. Default Chapter

The Phantom of the Laundromat 

By: Well, me and my friend, Brandy… I guess it doesn't really matter if you know our names. Just don't try to hunt us down… We have the power of Dracula (from Dracula 2000) and we aren't afraid to use it.

Disclaimer:

We don't own br>-Gerard Butler (sigh damn,) br>-the Phantom, br>-the Fairy Oracle (Brian Froud does), br>-The Fae (or the Fey,) br>-Sharpies (who the hell DOES own Sharpies?) br>-or the Laundromat (I only work there.) br>-And I took "meep" and "Ow, that hurts like pain" from another story on here (I believe it was The Phantom's Guide to Winning the Lady of your Dreams.)

Hell, I don't even own myself… The government does (but I have a plot to get myself back from them, the password is "Whispered C.R.E.A.M.") I don't think there's anything else. br>Well, I'm not making any money here (Damn!) and I have the power over the plotline, so get used to it. That's about it.

Crappy Announcer Voice (actually Brandy, but that's a secret.): Please keep all arms inside the vehicle at all times. This will be a bumpy ride. Hold onto your hats and if you fall off – well, just try to catch back up. Thank you and have a nice day.

Songé: …erm… Ok (looks at audience) meep Well, on with this charade.

>

Chapter 1 – The Request

"GAAAAAAAAAH…!" I screamed, "I can't take this anymore. I just can't believe how utterly boring this place is." I looked across the counter at my best friend. "I mean, I spend eight hours a day in this place. You would think I could find something to do."

Brandy looked up from my computer screen. Adjusting her glasses, she said, "Well, what do you expect? This is work; it isn't fun."

"I know but, geez, I spend eight hours a day in this place, two days a week. That's 10.5 of my week… a third of my weekend. Grrr…" I said, just a lot hysterically.

"Here, this'll cheer you up," she said, starting to turn my computer to face me. "Wait! Get the chocolate."

I rolled my eyes and ran to the back to get the chocolate bars. "Here," I said, reappearing. I tossed her the bar and we ripped the wrappers open simultaneously.

"Ok," she said as we took a bite, "Ready?"

"Mmmf," I mumbled, nodding.

She turned the computer around to face me.

My eyes bugged and I swooned with a meep.

I awoke to Brandy throwing ice cold water on my face. "Hey! ... Where'd you get the cartoon bucket?"

"That's not important right now." She answered. "Did you see it?"

"No, I'm here on the floor, craving chocolate, for nothing!" I yelled sarcastically. I bit a huge chunk of chocolate and as I sat letting it melt, I stared at my computer screen. "God, in heaven…" Turning to Brandy, but not taking my eyes from the picture, I asked, "Where did you find that?"

"Google'd him," she said smugly, a little too smugly.

"You know what this means," I said evilly, finally tearing my eyes from the sight. I looked at Brandy; I pulled out opera cloaks and masks.

"I am not doing this," Brandy said as I shoved a set in her hands. "It's demeaning."

"Oh, you're doing this," I replied as I donned a cloak and mask. I started swooping around the Laundromat. "The Phantom of the Opera is here inside my mind," I sang, granted I was off-key, but I'm tone-deaf. At least, that's my excuse and I'll stick to it 'til I die.

I swooped around a bit as Brandy stood at the counter looking bored. As I made a swoop by the front counter, Brandy stuck out her arm and clothes-lined me.

As I laid on the floor, blinking away tiny swirling Phantoms, Brandy leaned down, and said, "Now, as I have already said once, I will not do this; it is demeaning. And, look, you're scaring the children." She gestured at the children peeking around a corner at me.

I raised my hand to wave at them, but turned the gesture into a claw-hand and growled at them. The children ran away as I laughed evilly.

Brandy smacked me in the back of the head and said, "Shut up, Songé. You are so stupid."

"Am not," I said, baiting her.

"And I will not play that game," She turned away and pulled something from her backpack. "Here, let's do something else."

I walked behind the counter and took a stool. "What're we gonna do then?"

She plopped her Fairy Oracle on the counter. "Read."

I grabbed the Oracle and ran a few feet away.

"Get back here with that or I take it home and you never see it again."

I slinked back up to the counter and gently laid the Oracle down, quickly bringing my hands back up to shield my head from the Sharpie. When no Sharpies hit me, I peeked out at Brandy. She just sat staring at me.

I put my hands down… and only brought them up in time to catch the Sharpie that pelted its way at my head. "Ha!" I said triumphantly.

I put the Sharpie down and grabbed the Oracle. I took the cards out and started shuffling. As I shuffled, I watched Brandy from the corner of my eye.

"You know," I started, "there's much more to these than just reading."

Brandy watched me. "Oh? Like what?"

"Dancing, calling, requesting…" I let the last word hang in the air between us. I looked up at my friend. "It would be simple. One request."

"No, the price would be too great. I'm not in it for that."

"Too great for the Phantom," I asked incredulously," What happened to Miss I-would-pay-anything?"

"NOT MY SOUL!"

"Brandy, you know as well as I, that isn't what They want."

"Well, Miss I-know-everything, what do They want?"

"Chopsticks," I said happily, holding up handfuls of the Chinese eating utensils.

"Oh shit."

>

The cards were laid.

The chants were… er… chanted.

Then Brandy broke the silence. "How long do we have to wait?"

"We are here."

"Songé, stop shittin' around."

"We are not Songé. We are They whom you have summoned."

Brandy looked closely at me. My hair waved in an unseen breeze and my face was completely relaxed, as though I was in a mystical trance.

Then Brandy reached behind her and switched off the fan.

I snapped back to myself. "Ok," I said, opening my eyes. "So that wasn't Them. You should know They won't come when other people are around." I looked behind her and pointedly stared at the children, once more gathered and staring at us.

I slowly reached for my mask and Brandy threw a Sharpie at my head. "No," she whispered at me. Then she looked at the children. "Hi," she said in a sweet voice.

The children turned, ran faster and screamed louder than they had before.

"Yeah," I said sarcastically, "And I scare them."

"Shut the hell up."

I looked up past Brandy's head. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I stared.

"Songé?" Brandy asked a little anxiously. "Oh, please, I am not falling for it."

"Brandy…" I said carefully. "Do not move too quickly. You are about to have an Experience. Just sit very still and very quiet."

She rolled her eyes, but sat silent and still.

"Good evening, Great One," I said calmly, bowing at the waist.

Brandy slowly turned as she felt a lock of hair lift and start twirling.

"Good evening, miss," the creature addressed me, still intent on Brandy's hair. "What is it you would request?"

I glanced at Brandy, asking her with my mind if we truly wanted Gerry in his Phantom regalia.

"HELL YES!" her mind screamed even as her eyes betrayed the worry she was feeling.

I nodded and turned back to the creature. "Great One-"

"Please, I am no Great One. I am a mere fey."

"Good Sir," I said hesitantly, eyeing the creature.

He nodded.

I continued. "We would make a request."

"You know the payment."

"I do," I answered, solemnly holding up a pair of chopsticks.

"Very well," He said, eyeing the chopsticks, as if they were an oasis in the desert and He was a traveler with a dry canteen.

"We wish to have Gerard Butler here, as the Phantom; cloak, mask, and all. You know the new movie. No tricks." I said. "If you trick me, then you do not get the payment."

He nodded solemnly. "I shall return." He was gone with a swirl of wind. The only proof he had ever been there was a single, red oak leaf left lying on the carpet.

I reached out and pocketed the leaf. Removing his card from the deck, I repacked the Oracle. Turning to Brandy, I said, "Well, now we wait."

>

(Alright... go mega-boredom at work! I was on my Phantom high when I thought of this. I earned the nickname Phantom of the Laundromat as well as Phantom of the Copy Room, but that's another story and decided to go with it. I know there wasn't much ((much, what am I saying?)) any Phantom, but he comes in. Trust me. Brandy wouldn't let me get away with this story if he weren't in it. Hope you have a VERY weird sense of humor or this will suck for you. Thanks for reading.)

Look, that button, right down, there will lead you to the Mystical, Magical World of Reviews. Click on it and send me one... (disclaimer, ok, so it's false advertising as Solecito so helpfully pointed out in an earlier edition... sue me, I don't have anything worth taking.)


	2. A Delivery and Some Ideas

Chapter 2 - A Delivery and Some Ideas

The clock ticked agonizingly slowly.

I looked at Brandy.

She looked at the clock.

I looked at the door.

Brandy looked at me.

We blinked.

"I win," I shouted triumphantly.

Brandy smacked me in the head. "Shut up."

"Ow, that hurt like pain." I said, rubbing my head.

"Ugh," Brandy said, rolling her eyes. "Hey, how long is this guy gonna take?"

"Not sure," I said, still rubbing my head. "He has to locate him. Then, after that, it's simply a matter of transporting him."

"Grrr, it's been a minute already."

"Calm down. He'll get him here."

"I am _not_ a patient person, you know that."

"Yeah, I know it… Trust me, I know it."

"Hey! I resent that."

"No, you resemble it." I laughed.

Brandy reached over to hit me in the head.

"HA!" I yelled, throwing my hands up and blocking her. "You missed."

"Did I?" She dropped her hands and kicked me in the shin.

I clutched at my leg and hopped around on one foot. "Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow…"

Dropping my leg, I struck a dramatic pose and pointed at Brandy. "May you endure countless tortures in the six circles of Hell."

"Bitch, please," was my friend's response. Then she froze.

I turned. My eyes smiled in anticipation, but my face was etched with solemnity. "Good Sir," I said, bowing.

"I have brought to you that which you requested." The creature looked at me. "Now, where is my payment?"

"Wait," I said. "I see no one. Where…?" I looked around.

The creature waved his hand, and…

"Nothing happened," Brandy said, "Where is he? What'd you do to him?"

The creature dropped his formal demeanor and said a string of words in his normal tongue. (A/N: They are unprintable. Mainly because I have no font to match the fey's writing, but also because the translation would notch this baby up too high on the rating chart. I would be forever banned. Sorry) "Sorry," He continued, "I'll be right back. Wait… wait right here."

The creature walked into the back as Brandy and I looked at each other. "…er…"

The creature reappeared and said, "Ok, can we take that last scene again? Alright."

Brandy and I glanced at each other again. "O-o-o-o-o-o-o-kay." We shrugged.

I looked back at the creature. "So, where is he? And, remember, no tricks or no chopsticks."

The creature nodded and waved his hand. The Phantom appeared; bound with rope, gagged, and with not a few bruises.

"I said unharmed, you ass." I screamed at the creature.

Brandy chimed in with, "Yeah! May you contract Jungle Malaria." (A/N: Yes, you can get Jungle Malaria; and, yes, Brandy does say that… often.)

The creature looked hurt. "Now, there's no need for that. Look I can fix it."

"You damn well better fix it or I won't give you anything!" I screamed, swinging around and punching the creature in the chest.

Brandy reached for her Ever-Full Box of Sharpie's, and started pounding the creature with them.

With every Sharpie impact, the creature winced and whimpered. "O – ow - k, I'll – ow – fix – ow – it – ow! STOP! Ow."

Brandy paused with the next Sharpie in her raised hand. "Fix him," she growled threateningly.

The creature waved a hand and The Phantom was free and unbruised. Although, now free of his bonds, he began to slip immediately to the floor.

I rushed to catch him. "Meep." I said, my voice straining from holding the entire weight of The Phantom. "Help." I collapsed under him. (A/N: Happy Moment!)

Brandy lifted the unconscious man off of me; and I looked at the fey. "As per our agreement, your chopsticks." I threw them at the creature.

He jumped and danced around, clutching the chopsticks to his chest happily.

Brandy and I looked at each other… the creature… then each other again. She circled her finger at her temple, and I nodded.

I looked back at the creature, "Begone, back to your world!" I said, wiggling my fingers mysteriously. We sighed as the creature slowly faded from view; still dancing, happily, with his chopsticks.

Brandy and I looked at each other; then at The Phantom, lying on the floor.

"Now," I said, "what to do with him?"

Brandy looked up at me with a mischievous grin on her face. "I have a few ideas."


	3. Hot Pockets and Cool Heads

YAY! We have reviewers!

Thanks to:

enigmatic mystery

Lady Tolwen (And yes Lady Tolwen, we know what a pain it is; but we like being able to thank all of our readers)

Solecito

Vampire Stalker,

Venus 725 (OK, if it gets stupid you have my permission to hit me in the head with a frying pan).

Alright, dear readers, He's here, and he speaks…

The only problem is he's a little OOC (Thanks Solecito.) I'm gonna get him back to his normal moody self soon enough, but he's gotta be different enough to be a mix of Dracula and Erik; because I love 'em both!

And sorry it took so long. I had to have a meeting with my editor before posting this and my car wouldn't let me. ducks thrown fruits and veggies I'll try not to let it happen anymore. I never did get that interview… that's why this one sucks only a LOT! Sorry.

Chapter 3 - Hot Pockets and Cool Heads

Disclaimer: I don't own Hot Pockets (I just eat 'em.)

As Brandy and I stood contemplating what to do with Erik (Brandy, no doubt, picturing any number of ways to rape him) the phone rang.

"Shit," I said, grabbing for the phone. "Get him out of here." I hissed at Brandy, motioning to the man on the floor.

I flipped the phone on. "Sudsville. Oh, hey Ma… Yeah, dinner sounds great. 'K, don't forget Brandy's here. Yah, ok, sounds great. Thanks. See ya then." I flipped the phone closed.

"Shit, damn, damn, shit," I looked back at Brandy, who hadn't moved. "Dammit, Brandy. C'mon. Mom'll be here in five. We gotta get him outta here. Dammit, where should we put him? Shit, damn, damn, shit, shit damn, damn, shit."

"The back," Brandy said.

"No, she'll go back there." I said, chewing my thumb nail. (A/N: Give me a break. It's habit; concentration and nervousness bring it on.)

Suddenly, a light bulb lit up. Literally, the one above my head came on; it hadn't worked in a week.

"Brandy, you were half right. Out the back, in the alley. I only thank the Powers-that-Be that it's a clear, summer night. I grabbed Erik under the arms. "C'mon, help me, Brandy."

"Why do you get that end?"

"Cause I figured you'd like that end better."

"Well, yeah, I do."

"Alright, let's go."

We carried him out the back and dropped him as gently as possible in the alley.

"Hey, girls, where are you?"

"Comin', Ma." I looked at Brandy and mouthed, "Quiet." We walked out to the front and faced my mother.

"Hey, girls, I got some Hot Pockets and Ice Cream."

"Sweet," we said in unison.

"I just need some thread."

"Ok, I'll get it. Which one do you need?"

"No, no, hun, I got it. Just enjoy dinner."

"Ok, mom," I walked to the back where the fridge was. After putting the ice cream away and starting the Hot Pockets in the microwave, I looked at the back door and saw we had left it unlocked. I ran over to secure it before Mom could and realized The Phantom was no longer where we had left him. "Shit!"

"What's wrong?" Mom asked.

"Wh- Oh, nothing. We just forgot to lock the door back up." I said, locking the door; I turned to face Mom, "Cool now."

"Alright, well, got my thread. I'll let the party continue." Mom said, "Don't make too much trouble."

"We won't, Ma," Brandy said.

"You have no idea," I replied.

We ran to the front of the store as Mom pulled out and watched until we could no longer see her taillights.

When we could no longer see her truck, I ran to the back and started frantically trying to undo the locks (A/N: the door is like older than the pyramids. It has a deadbolt type lock on the outer door, and a rope tying the screen door closed.) Scrambling to untie the knot was giving my hands serious cramps.

"Brandy, come help me." I called.

"I'm not allowed back there, remember?"

"Christ, Brandy, it doesn't matter. Just come on."

"No."

"Oh. Now, who's being juvenile?"

"You," Brandy said, right behind me.

"Damn you," I mumbled, "help me. He's gone and I can't get this undone."

"Move, stupid," Brandy said elbowing me at the same time. She cut through the rope with a knife she produced from her pocket.

"Somebody trusted **_you_** with a knife!" I said, incredulous. "Why?"

"Hey… it worked, didn't it?"

"Point taken," I said as she threw the double doors open.

We walked out into the alley.

"Where?" Brandy asked.

"Gone," I said. I looked around the side of the building as Brandy walked a few feet farther down the alley.

I looked after her, then felt a tingling in the back of my neck. "Brandy! Up!" I screamed as the dark form fell.

A scuffle started. I stood back and smirked. However this was to end, Brandy was sure to enjoy both the fight and the outcome.

After a few moments, the scuffle slowed, then stilled. Another minute passed before I called, "Ok, Brandy, that's _quite_ enough of that."

The two darkened forms broke apart and my friend said, "Huh? What are you talking about? What's enough? Enough of what?"

"Please," I called turning to the door. "Let's get inside."

I walked through the door and waited for the two to come in as well. As they passed, I noticed our dark visitor was looking very shocked… and I didn't think it was to do with him being in a new place. I chuckled softly to myself.

Quickly locking the door, I ran up to Brandy. I removed the Phantom from her "Evil-Phan-Death-Grip-of-Love" and gently led him to a stool.

When he was seated, Brandy attached herself to his side. When I saw this, I wondered, "What the hells is wrong with me? Here's the freakin' Phantom of the Opera; Erik himself, with the body of Gerard Butler; and I'm not even freaking out!"

After this internal monologue, I was half pinching myself and half doing a happy dance because the calling worked.

Brandy watched all of this play out in my mind. Her eyes bugged as she tried to figure out what was wrong with me.

"What the Hells is wrong with me?" I screamed, making Erik fall off his stool. I swept a cape and mask on and ran around, dodging Sharpies and singing The Music of the Night.

Erik turned to Brandy. "Is she always like this?"

"Pretty much," she said watching me. Her jaw dropped in realization. "I'm… talking… to… the… Ph-Ph-Phantom. AH!" She swooned.

Erik just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

A/N: If anyone could tell me how to get this site to let me put asterisks in the story that would be great. Thankees.

And if anyone's interested I will be posting a DracFic (based on Dracula 2000) as soon as it gets rolling; but I will in NO WAY ignore this Phic, in that you can trust.


	4. An Invitation

Chapter 4 An Invitation

"DING!" The microwave screamed. (A/N: Yes, the microwave screamed.)

"Shit!" I screamed, running back to the microwave. "AAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

Brandy ran into the back, followed closely by Erik, who spoke first, "What are those?"

Brandy stopped laughing long enough to explain that "those" were Hot Pockets.

But maybe this scene needs some explanation. What Brandy and Erik had just walked in to see was me, lying on the floor, and covered in Hot Pockets. You see our microwave atSudsville is very, very old and radioactive. The Hot Pockets had multiplied and attacked me. Now, back to the story.

I looked at the two of them as they laughed at my predicament. "If you are quite finished, I still need out."

Brandy, at this point was laughing hysterically, so I expected no help there.

Erik reached down and pulled me to my feet, just like his gentlemanly self.

I stood in awe as he bowed and released my hand. I blushed as he straightened, then I ran off in a nervous burst of energy. Brandy (still laughing at me) and Erik followed more slowly.

They found me perched on a stool in front of my computer, typing madly.

"Songé," Brandy started.

"Shh," I answered.

"What-"

"No"

"Are"

"Shh"

"You"

"Silence"

"Doing?"

"I said, be quiet," I said sternly, "I am typing here."

Brandy rolled her eyes and looked at Erik. "Might as well get comfortable, she can be like this for hours."

The two settled on the other stools as I typed away. I looked up once in a while and each time caught Brandy full-out staring dreamily at Erik. I smirked slightly, and went back to my editing process.

"Done!" I said, still looking at the screen. "Editor!"

Brandy turned the computer to face her and skimmed the work. She then looked at the beginning of the document and started over; her eyes widening in disbelief with every line she read. When she was finished, she looked back at me. "What the Hell is this!"

"Exactly what it says," I answered. I spun the computer back to me and started reading out loud…

Party

Who: YOU!

Where: Sudsville

When: Chapter 5 – Until we kick you out (Yeah, as if we would kick you out)

What: Meet Erik, The Phantom, Opera Ghost, Whatever you call him!

RSVP with your name and description by Monday (3-7-05) to hop in the story for a few chapters.

A/N: There ya go, precious readers. You want in you had best review. Tuesday, Brandy and I will finalize chapter five to be posted on Thursday. Happy reviewing and Thankees for reading.


	5. A Party, In Which We All Go A Little Nut...

Chapter 5 A Party In Which We All Go A Little Nuts…

But It's Mainly Just Us Getting Ready, The Introduction Of Kalyn, And The Rules.

I was laying food on the counter.

Erik was brooding in the corner.

Brandy was – AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! >Crash! - no longer hanging streamers from the ceiling.

Erik jumped up and ran over to her.

"She's faking," I called, "And you're falling for it."

Erik looked at me. "No, I-" and he disappeared behind a row of washers.

"Told you so," I said, not looking up.

Suddenly, the door banged. I jumped and turned. Brandy appeared from behind the row of washers. Moments later, Erik stood; looking much shaken and with the limp Brandy should have had.

"KAAAAAAALYYYN!" Brandy and I screamed. Erik still looked dazed.

Brandy and I bum-rushed Kalyn; each of us talking at once. Trying to get the past few months into a five minute conversation is always an interesting sound.

After a few minutes of us each competing to be heard, Erik let loose a scream of irritation.

The three of us turned to him. Kalyn, unfazed, said, "That is very rude." She turned back to Brandy and I, "Why did you kidnap the Phantom?"

Brandy and I looked at each other, then her. "Does nothing faze you?" we asked in stereo.

"No. Now why?"

Brandy and I grinned, "Cause it's fun."

Then I slowly started to edge away from Brandy. I said, "And Brandy likes raping him." I turned and ran to avoid the Sharpies now hurling towards my head.

Kalyn walked behind the counter and started arranging food… not even that fact that we were throwing a party in the Laundromat would shake her. "You had better get finished."

"Why?"

"I saw quite a large tour bus about five minutes ago. The occupants were singing Phantom songs."

"Oh."

"When I heard that, I knew one of two things was going on:

A) There was a convention going on, or

B) You two were up to something.

"So you automatically assumed it was us?" I asked. "We're hurt."

"Songé, how often does a convention of any kind, let alone on for the Phantom of the Opera, get held in Northwest Indiana?"

"Ok, check and mate, jerk-face."

"Exactly," Kalyn said, "Never underestimate the power of deductive reasoning."

"That's a sucky power." I said.

"Yeah," Brandy chimed in, "Calling is better."

"Or Flying," I said.

"Or moving things with your mind," Brandy said quickly. (A/N: We are a powerful team when we work together.)

We looked at each other, then Kalyn, "So, we win; 'cause our powers are cooler. Besides, we can write you out so be nice."

Kalyn rolled her eyes and shook her head... ever the mother.

I turned to the wall and started narrating as the others looked at me strangely. "How's about a little info on our newest friend?"

The looks got stranger.

"Kalyn has been mine and Brandy's **other** best friend for – well, a long time. She's the sane one, stopping Brandy and I from being too stupid. Don't get me wrong; she has a wild side too, just tempered with common sense and sanity. In effect, Brandy and I know we can fly; Kalyn knows that the ground will hurt when we smack it."

Brandy tapped me on the shoulder when she was certain I was done. "Uh, Songé, I don't know who you were talking to… but the Phans are here."

I looked out the huge windows at the front of the store. In the parking lot was an extra long bus, painted black with a half mask and the letters PotO, picked out in white. Phans were pouring out of it in droves.

I ran over and unlocked the doors. "Welcome All, to the biggest party of the month. (A/N: We have big dreams, do we not?) Come in and settle on the benches. Brandy has a few rules for you."

I stood back as the girls (andthree boys) walked in, all staring at Erik, who edged uneasily behind Brandy.

I saw Brandy start to reach behind herself. "Brandy! Down, girl!"

"May buzzards eat your eyes from your head, hussy!"

"Yeah, yeah," I said, waving away the threat, "Just watch your roving hands." I looked at the bus. "Ok, that seems to be the last of them."

Brandy, refusing to give up a good argument, started taking the sweet and innocent approach. "I wasn't doing anything. I was just comforting him."

"Whatever," I said, "Just get on with your rules."

I went and jumped onto the counter. Standing I turned to our guests with the air of a Circus Master. "Come one, come all. Or maybe not… I think we're past capacity as it is."

I paused waiting for the laughter. Crickets chirped.

"You guys suck." I muttered. "Anyhoodles, welcome to out Phantom of the Laundromat party. Brandy, here, has a few rules – Down, girl! – and then we can get on with the party and you can all meet the famous (or **in**famous, depending on your viewpoint) >cue fanfare Phantom of the Opera."

>Lights dim, fireworks go off, and music crescendos 

Crickets chirp again…

"Ok, those were expensive special effects… some applause are in order."

One person at the back clapped three times before another shushed them. Some one coughed.

"Alright, Brandy… sic 'em."

Brandy rubbed her hands together evilly. "Yeeeeeees," she chuckled evilly. (A/N: Brandy is feeling very eeville, if you hadn't noticed.)

"There are a few...er...rules about my Erik, I mean, The Phantom.

1.) No Touchy! He belongs to me. I will whip Sharpies at you until you bleed from the ears.

2.) You may look at him from a distance. I will have little goblins running around biting you in the ankle if you stare for longer than 2 minutes.

3.) NO Touchy

4.) No drooling on the cape. I just had that thing dry cleaned for the party.

5.) NO TOUCHY! MINE MINE MINE! Sorry, lost control there.

6.) No TOUCHING!"

I jumped off the counter and walked over to Brandy. Pulling her away from the group, I talked in a low voice. "Brandy, you can't be possessive about him. That was the point of the party… so they could meet the Phantom!"

"That's no fun…"

"For you, no… For them, yes."

We walked back over to the crowd, who was looking a little murderous after letting the rules sink in.

"Ok," I started.

"This is crap! Why can't we talk to Erik! I want to be able to talk to the Phantom!"

I looked at Kalyn, knowing my voice wouldn't carry over the crowds. Kalyn raised her hands over her head. Taking in a deep breath, she used her teacher voice, combined with the Power Clap of Doom. "Quiet all of you or it's a Time-Out!"

The crowd quieted instantly.

I even cowered and let loose a mumbled "meep!"

Kalyn looked back at me and nodded.

I stood up straight and looked over the crowd.

"Now, Brandy's rules are to be changed just a bit.

1) Don't hog the Phantom… Sharpies HURT!

2) Brandy DOES have any alliance with Goblins… led by our short friend Zach… and they bite hard. Be careful around the Phantom.

3) Refer to Rule 2 for a good reason to follow this one. Please do not try to rape the Phantom.

4) I agree with the no drool rule… it's HARD to get drool out of fine materials like linens and silk.

5) Ok, disregard slightly… hugging is allowed, shaking his hand, things of that nature; but it's Brandy's job to rape him."

"I can't help it he likes it." I heard mumbled behind me.

"6) Refer to Rule 5."

I turned to my friends. "Sound good to you?"

Kalyn nodded her agreement. Brandy fumed for my ruining her rules. Erik looked slightly uncomfortable at the thought of so many people.

I turned back to the hordes of Phan-girls (oh, and the few Phan-guys… I'm still a little scared by them…) "Ok, let the party begin!"

>Cue dance music 

(A/N: Ok, now the fun part, those who reviewed to be invited get to review with questions…

Or you can email me, …

Or you can IM me, mithralas2931 on AIM; I'm on most of the time…

You can also send them to mithralas2931 on Yahoo Messenger…

Ask any three questions of the Phantom please don't ask about marriage proposals or things of that nature, I can only control Brandy so much

In case, you forgot our reviewers were:

EmailyGirl (our first on the last chapter… We got her review not ten minutes after we posted… GO YOU!)

enigmatic mystery (Goth is good, I predict you and Erik will get along great!)

Lady Ealisaid Of The Stars (I think we will definitely go with the Ella)

Venus725 (I like Venus for you, 'k?)

Lady Tolwen (ok, anonymous reviews are good too… just sign within the review, k? lol)

Solecito (you are definitely in and will fit in just fine around here… can I call you Sol?)

SpiritWell (Scary am I? heh heh heh This should be fun! And thanks… the ideas are the result of spending waaaaaaay too much time drinking Dr. Pepper at the Laundromat and reading other Phan-fics… many of the ideas are spin-off type things… I love caffeine-induced fics; they're fun!)

And thank you for being patient through the looooooooooong wait while I finished mid-terms (I hate those damned things) and got back home to discuss things with Brandy and the editor.

**THANKEES TO ALL FOR READING!**

Oh, dear… I seem to be getting drastically close to the exclamation point limit (Discworld reference… from Masquerade by Terry Pratchett… the PotO Parody… you should all read, it's addicting)

>Brandy smacks Songé in the head Quit with the shameless advertising! We aren't even making any money off of it!

Songé: Sorry… you can all go now. DON'T FORGET TO SEND IN YOUR QUESTIONS!

One more thing. If you would like to ask questions of Erik but didn't R.S.V.P. then send them and Brandy and I will ask Erik… sound fun? >turns to Brandy Have I remembered everything?

Brandy: Aside from shutting the hells up? Yeah.

Songé: Ok…

Unison: Bye now! Don't forget to review.


	6. The Party, Or That In Which We Have Inte...

Chapter 6 The Party, Or That In Which We Have Interview Time, A V.I.P. Lounge, A Cell Phone Masterpiece, and Many Many More Special Effects.

The Phans mingled, and by mingled I mean they all clumped into groups, staring at Erik.

I walked over to the counter; and, avoiding the Hot Pockets, started munching on the food.

Brandy walked over to me, followed closely by Erik, who seemed to have latched onto her as the only same person he somewhat knew at this party. She looked at me, "So when do we meet these 'special guests?'"

"Soon; the magical, mystical voice that I can never find will be announcing over the intercom soon to meet in the V.I.P. Lounge."

As I finished speaking a deep, manly voice started speaking over the loud system. "All guests now bearing a red rose with a black ribbon; please report to the V.I.P. Lounge in five minutes time."

"See?" I asked Brandy. She nodded appreciation as the assembled crowd started talking again. We could hear comments, such as: "Where is the Lounge? Why are there special guests? What makes them so special?"

"The V.I.P. Lounge is in the back corner by the buffet. The 'special guests' are the ones who deemed it fit to R.S.V.P. And they are special because they care."

Brandy and I looked at each other before I ran to find the Voice-That-Cannot-Be-Found. As I ran away, Brandy shook her head and wandered off to the Lounge, taking a plate of chocolate bars with her.

I watched with half an eye as the seven girls walked up to the cordoned (A/N: OOO, big word…) section we had designated for the Lounge.

Brandy had spent a lot of time on it. There were drippy candles and stalactites and even an organ; which made Erik brighten before he realized it was only a picture.

I looked back at the girls standing at the ropes and noticed the crowd had grown. There were now thirteen girls standing there; seven had the required roses, but the others had tried to rig flowers to get them in. I saw a few daisies with yellow ribbons. Pastels? For the Phantom? I chuckled. Pitiful creatures.

Suddenly, I felt a shift in the ceiling beneath me. I lay completely still, tensing my body; to no avail, I still plummeted down into the Lounge. Erik swiftly caught me and set me gently on the ground.

Brandy was at the ropes arguing with the girls who were trying to persuade her that the white daisies they were carrying were "really red roses, honestly; would we lie to you?"

Thanking Erik absent-mindedly, I walked over to the ropes. "Those are not roses. You are making a fool of yourself; and making Erik angry. I personally do not want a repeat of bad circumstances." I smiled sweetly at the fuming Phan and lead Brandy away. "Go stand by Erik; make sure he doesn't kill anything. Oh, and hold onto this." I handed my cell phone over and walked back to the ropes.

The daisy Phans had wandered away, but there were still too many Phans.

"All rose Phans please step to the front."

Six girls stepped up to the red ropes.

"Please present your roses."

The six girls held up roses.

Unhooking the ropes, I allowed them to enter. Kalyn stepped up to the rope, holding back one girl who was attempting to slip through. I looked at Kalyn then the girl. "What's all this?"

"A sneak," Kalyn answered. "Imitated the rose, so she's a Phanatic; but it would appear that she R.S.V.P.'ed too late and couldn't get in."

"Oh," I looked at the girl. Only slightly shorter than myself and with the same hair short, black hair, she reminded me of… well, me. I looked at Kalyn, "I really want to take pity on her. She reminds me of me… and you know how I am about that." So, maybe I am wearing my heart on my sleeve here; I don't care.

Kalyn looked at me, "You know how Brandy is about that…"

I nodded and looked back at Brandy. After some thought, I looked at the girl. "What's your name?"

The Phan looked at me stubbornly. "Why?"

"Cause I need to know it if you're going to get in… Now, once more, your name?"

The girl looked down, chastised, and mumbled, "Andrea."

"Ok, Andrea," I replied, "Kalyn is right, Brandy doesn't like people who don't respond, and she thinks it rude for people to crash a party. She'll probably claim retribution (A/N: OOO, I can use big words. Hee hee hee.) and command some task." I looked at the girl who was suddenly angry, "I'll make sure it isn't too horrible."

I looked at Kalyn to let her go and turned; knowing that Kalyn would follow, as would Andrea if she truly wanted to meet Erik.

"Songé," Brandy called, "come meet these awesome people."

I nodded and joined her as she started pulling people forward.

"Emily," Brandy introduced a Phan with auburn (A/N: cool with you?) hair and eyes to match Gerry's. "She was in choir, but we can forgive that, right? Since she's in a music frat… who knows, it could be SAI." Brandy laughed.

"Ronin," a blonde, goth nodded from her seat near Erik (they seemed to really be getting along.) "She sings as well. And I LOVE her taste in clothes."

"Ella," a bouncy girl with really red hair came forward, "Really quite crazy; she should fit in just fine." I laughed a little at this.

"I am so excited to be here… Thank you guys soooooo much! EEP! I get to meet Erik! I swear Brandy, I won't hurt him!" The girl bounced away to sit by Erik. I laughed outright to see the cheerful girl sit next to the dark angel.

"Next, we have Lindsay, but she much prefers Venus," Brandy said as a dark complected girl with brown curls nodded serenely at us from her seat where she was watching Erik and waiting for a quiet moment to talk to him. "I know you'll love this part; she's Italian" I golf-clapped. "And absolutely adores Erik, though she is a LOT more calm than most of the others."

"Kat," a blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl waved slightly before zoning in on Erik again, "she may look like a bit of a prep; but don't let that fool you, she's the same as us."

"Megan," a skater chick type looked up from her notepad to nod briefly, "a journalist type. No doubt every word will be documented tonight." Brandy said, jokingly. "I think she has a crush on Erik, but don't quote me on that."

"Ok, nice to meet you all," I called to the gathered Phans. I turned to Brandy, "Now, I have someone to introduce." I pulled Andrea forward. "A sneak, to be sure, but a clever one. Take pity on her; she reminds me of me."

Brandy looked over the defiant girl. "Why should we? She was late, and she has attitude."

"Oh, don't be evil. She reminds you of you and you know it."

"Precisely, I don't think I would let myself into a party."

"Yes, you would."

Brandy sighed, "Alright, but you know it will take payment."

I looked at Andrea, but spoke to Brandy, "I think she'll pay it. But be nice; and nothing too mean."

"Fine… "Brandy thought a moment. "Give me five bucks."

Andrea and I both looked at Brandy. "What?" I exclaimed.

"Five bucks," Brandy repeated with her hand out.

"Er… ok," Andrea said, pulling out a small pouch and handing over a five-dollar bill.

"Access granted," Brandy said

Andrea walked away, more than a little confused.

Her emotion mirrored mine all too well.

"Brandy, I'm a lot scared. What just happened?" I asked.

"You were right. She reminded me of me. Which is a little weird 'cause she reminds me of you too. Meh, so I let her in."

I shrugged and looked around. Suddenly, I heard a familiar ring. "Hey, where's my phone?"

Brandy looked at me, "Huh? Oh, I let Erik play with it. He seems to like it."

"Well, it's ringing. I need it." Suddenly the ring changed again. "Ok, that's weird."

"It isn't ringing. Erik's composing."

"What? How do you compose with a cell phone?"

"I don't know; but that doesn't mean Erik can't do it."

I shrugged as an oddly seductive and haunting melody suddenly came from my phone. "Oh, he's good."

Brandy just nodded, "Uh-huh… more than you know."

"Shut up," I said, trying not to laugh at the bluntness in my friend's tone.

"Ok, I think interview time can begin now." I said, looking around.

"Sounds good to me," Brandy said. "Who should we start with?"

"Well," Kalyn said, "I don't know. Maybe we should do a number guess to find out, then rotate one question at a time around the circle."

"Meh, better than any ideas I got."

"Ok," I said. I jumped onto the counter top behind Erik's seat. "Everyone, attention please."

The Phans quieted, not only in the Lounge, but the rest of the Laundromat as well.

"OOO, I like that." I said quietly.

I clapped my hands and the lights dimmed until there was just a glow around Erik. A spotlight appeared on me.

"Now," I began, my voice amplified to carry throughout the room. "We shall begin Interview with the Phantom."

Aaaaaaand, cue dramatic music. Pause for effect.

"We will begin with the V.I.P.'s; then if there is time, and I don't get too many, we might move out into the larger crowd and take a few questions."

I paused again, hoping for a few cheers or even maybe a little applause.

A cricket chirps

"Oh, come on, people. I work hard at this…" I whined before collapsing backwards from the table.

From the floor, "Ow, dammit, Brandy! Why the hells did you do that?"

"Because you were whining and no one cares."

This results in rousing cheers, applause, and whistles.

"Screw you guys then!" I screamed. "I'm pouting." I crossed my arms and hid behind the counter.

Brandy took my place in the spotlight. "Ok, to begin. I have told Kalyn a number between 1 and 10, we will go around the circle, a-"

Brandy never finished her statement, because I tackled her. Leaving her on the floor, I ran back to the spotlight.

"Now, about that numb-"

Brandy pulled me down, "Or not…"

"I paid for the damned thing…" I said, punching Brandy in the arm.

"I don't give a shit, you freak. You can't even make them laugh."

"I don't care… I paid for it…" (A/N: weak argument, I know)

"Fine… we share…" Brandy said.

I stood up, my hair standing on end. "Agreed."

Brandy stepped back into the spotlight and helped me up. "Ok, on the agreement, you all just heard…"

"Brandy and I will be _sharing_ the spotlight form now on; on the understanding that everyone knows I paid for the special effects."

"And that everyone knows I'm the funny one."

"Bitch," I said.

"Whore," Brandy retorted.

And we were, once again, reduced to punching each other.

Kalyn stepped in. "Ok, this is getting us no where." She grabbed our hands and held us apart. "Quit is or I take over the spotlight."

"Fine, mean head," Brandy and I said, "we were only having fun."

Kalyn rolled her eyes at our instant reconciliation. "I hate how you team up on me," she mumbled.

Brandy and I helped each other back into the spotlight. "Now… the number," Brandy said.

I leaned over and whispered into Brandy's ear.

"Ok," she said, "Right. Now, we have the number and you must guess." Brandy pointed to the girl on Erik's immediate left. "We'll start with you."

Ronin looked up at Brandy, "seven."

Emily, "four."

Venus answered with, "five."

Kat looked up, confused for a second, "Huh? Oh, uh… nine."

Megan said, "two."

And finally, sitting quite close on Erik's right, Ella squeaked, "Oh, um, three, I guess, I don't care as long as I get a turn."

"Alright," I said. "The winning number was seven exactly. Golf Clap to Ronin. And the runner-up was three. Golf Clap to Ella. So we start with Ronin and go to Erik's right."

"Sweet." Ronin said. "Ok." Taking a moment, Ronin composed herself. "Mr. Phantom, have you ever done any morbidity writing?"

Erik looked up from my cell phone. "What is morbidity, madame?"

Ronin lost none of her composure. "Morbidity is like dark and twisted."

"You have listened to Don Juan Triumphante, correct? I believe by most standards that would be a 'morbidity' piece." Erik did the quote-quote fingers as he said "morbidity," resulting in laughter from the surrounding guests. "And I believe that with the life I have lead, I am more than qualified. Do you agree, Ronin?"

"Certainly, Erik," Ronin said, completely certain in calling our beloved Phantom by his name.

I could see Brandy tense as she realized what this meant. Putting my arm on her shoulder, I said, "Alright, next question." I nodded at Ella.

She thought for a moment before looking at Erik. "How did you come to be such a good music writer? I mean, you're a flippin' genius! Would you sing to me?"

Erik looked at the hyper Phan a moment before answering. "Technically that was two questions."

Ella blushed slightly and looked down.

Erik reached over and lifted her head. "Ella, that is fine. I will answer."

Erik looked away as Ella smiled brightly again.

"To the first, I am not certain what a 'flippin' genius' is, but I came to compose so well by studying every moment I could. I acquired a key to the Opera's Libraries and when all was quiet, I would slip into the archives and study the arias, operas, solos, everything. I experimented with my own melodies, soon finding harmonies that suited my ear. Determination and studiousness were the key to my compositions."

Ella sat with wide eyes. "Wow."

Erik smiled. Phan-girls swooned.

"And now, I will sing for you."

Erik stood…

(A/N: How much would you hate me if I made him sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star?" Looks at the threatening crowd I guess that would be a lot? Pop on your head phones and sing along.)

"You have come here  
in pursuit of  
your deepest urge,  
in pursuit of  
that wish,  
which till now  
has been silent,  
silent . . ."

The collected Phan-girls sighed; a few fainted.

"I have brought you,  
that our passions  
may fuse and merge -  
in your mind  
you've already  
succumbed to me  
dropped all defences  
completely succumbed to me -  
now you are here with me:  
no second thoughts,  
you've decided,  
decided . . .

Past the point  
of no return -  
no backward glances:  
the games we've played  
till now are at  
an end . . .  
Past all thought  
of "if" or "when" -  
no use resisting:  
abandon thought,  
and let the dream  
descend . . .

What raging fire  
shall flood the soul?  
What rich desire  
unlocks its door?  
What sweet seduction  
lies before  
us . . .?

Past the point  
of no return,  
the final threshold -  
what warm,  
unspoken secrets  
will we learn?  
Beyond the point  
of no return . . ."

I raised my hands to cover my ears and saw Kalyn and Brandy do the same.

All the Phan-girls took a breath, and, right on cue…

"You have brought me  
to that moment  
where words run dry,  
to that moment  
where speech  
disappears  
into silence,  
silence . . .

I have come here,  
hardly knowing  
the reason why . . .  
In my mind,  
I've already  
imagined our  
bodies entwining  
defenceless and silent -  
and now I am  
here with you:  
no second thoughts,

I've decided,  
decided . . .

Past the point  
of no return -  
no going back now:  
our passion-play  
has now, at last,  
begun . . .  
Past all thought  
of right or wrong -  
one final question:  
how long should we  
two wait, before  
we're one . . .?

When will the blood  
begin to race  
the sleeping bud  
burst into bloom?  
When will the flames,  
at last, consume  
us . . .?"

Erik, being the ever-charming Angel of Music, sang along with the chorus of Phan-girls. Kalyn, Brandy, and I gave in to the once-in-a-lifetime chance of singing with him.

"Past the point  
of no return  
the final threshold -  
the bridge  
is crossed, so stand  
and watch it burn . . .  
We've passed the point  
of no return . . ."

Erik continues alone…

"Say you'll share with  
me one  
love, one lifetime . . .  
Lead me, save me  
from my solitude . . .

Say you want me  
with you,  
here beside you . . .  
Anywhere you go  
let me go too -  
Darling  
that's all I ask of you."

(A/N: ok, so I changed that line… it's better for the setting. I'm sure ALW won't sue me. Considering I don't lay claim to his genius.)

As we all came out of our separate trances to find Erik seated and composing on my phone again.

"Oh, wow!" I breathed. "I am in heaven."

Brandy nodded her agreement.

(A/N: Ok, that seemed like a good place to end. WOW! This is almost eleven full pages. No worries. I'm gonna continue the interview, because you wonderful readers all have some really cool questions to ask Erik. I just think that leaving it off here and continuing in another chapter would be best.

OK, to all of you in this chapter, I hope I didn't murder your personalities too much. Sorry, if I did… email or IM me to set me straight.

Brandy also yelled at me and threatened me with dun dun duuuuun RED SHARPIES! They scare me. So, here are her email and IM… she's in Philly for a few days, but if you catch her then – I don't know – bug her or something. Her Yahoo IM is – branflaks 0510 and her email is now you can tell us what you think almost face to face. It'll be fun.

I hope this nice long chapter makes up for the LOOOOOOONG time between updates. I want to make this as interactive as possible so am trying to give you all adequate time to tell me what you want in here…

I also let you all sing with Erik to make up for it, so don't hurt me too bad... please?

I hope you like it.

Alright, enough of my ramblings.

Thankees bunchees for reading. I love getting mail from you all.)


	7. Question Time With Erik

Chapter 7 Question Time with Erik

or

Brandy and I Have Some More Catfights, and You All Get Pretty Damn Tired of My Special Effects While Erik Answers More of Your Questions.

>>>

Brandy, Kalyn, and I watched as the collected Phan-Girls all came back from their euphoria.

I turned to Brandy, "Think they enjoyed that?"

"Not at all," she answered sarcastically.

I hit her and clambered onto the counter-top, once again taking the microphone. "Oooh, I have a microphone." I looked at the surrounding guests and struck a pose. "Ok… so. If you empty the bed of your pick-up truck by driving backwards really fast and slamming on the brakes… you might be a red-neck."

Pauses to wait for applause… none are forth-coming "Aaaaaaaand, who didn't see that one coming?"

"Anyway, on with the interviews. When we left last time, we had just gotten through Ronin and Ella's first questions and Erik," I motioned to the Phantom, still sitting and composing on my phone, "had just sung us a beautiful song."

Pauses and this time gets applause (although I deeply suspect that I got that merely because Erik sang for you glares)

"Alright, this time we shall continue around the circle. It would appear that Venus is up."

The serene Phan looked at me and nodded her head before turning to Erik. "For my first question, I would like to know… Erik, why Christine? I mean, honestly, I know a lot of girls that look a lot like her or better than her...and girls who sing better as well. So why? Was it because you're her Angel of Music?"

Erik set my phone aside and looked at the dark-haired Phan, thinking before he answered. "I was in love with Christine long before I became her Angel of Music. When she arrived at the Opera, I saw a sad, young girl. Watching her over the years, I watched her blossom into a flowering young womanhood; yet she never lost her innocent melancholy. I sensed a soul compatible with my own. Besides," Erik smiled, "we cannot chose where our hearts will love." He kept eye contact with Venus for a moment before picking my phone back up and went back to his composition.

Brandy climbed onto the counter next to me and (after a bit of a struggle) took the microphone from me. "Very nice answer… very romantic." (A/N: I hope?) "Next up is Kat."

The blonde climbed up next to Brandy and took the microphone. Muffling it, she knocked Brandy's and my head together. "For the record, I am not a prep, and I prefer the name Sol, if you don't mind." (A/N: Better… not totally a prep, just kinda looks like one.) "Don't let Songé get ahold of this again."

Sol jumped down from the counter. She nudged herself in close to Erik on the couches we had set up. Ella wouldn't move easily, so Sol glared at her a moment.

The hyper Phan backed down and scooted over on the bench.

Sol, now settled, looked up at Erik. "Being a fellow lover of nooks, crannies, trapdoors, secret passage ways, etc, I would like to know of any interesting places you have discovered and if you would like to show me around the numerous cellars of our beloved Paris Opera."

Erik looked at the commanding Phan a moment before answering. "I know of many 'interesting places' in the Opera. There is the underground lake, the many passages that can take you anywhere within the Opera house, and many more secret rooms besides. I would be honored to show you a few choice places in the Opera, should you ever pay a visit to my home."

Sol's eyes got wide; she gasped, then threw her arms around Erik's neck. "ThankyouThankyouThankyou. I am gonna come visit, for sure. I would love to. ThankyouThankyouThankyou."

Brandy went to grab the girl off Erik, but Kalyn and I grabbed her arms and held her back. She dragged us along a few feet, leaving furrows in the floor.

I looked at Kalyn over Brandy's shoulder. "I got her. Get the rope."

A few interesting moments and many curses later, Kalyn and I had rope tied around Brandy's arms and torso, with the two ends reaching up to one of the fans on the ceiling.

I jumped back onto the counter.

Then I jumped back down and walked over to Brandy, "Gimme that!" I snatched the microphone from her hand and walked back to the counter, flipping on the fan as I passed the switch.

Once again, standing on the counter, I looked out over our audience. "Ok, well, it's Megan's turn now." I nodded my head at the journalist/skater Phan.

She nodded back. Turning to Erik, she asked in all seriousness, "Can you protect me from Brandy?"

All through the laughter and applause, Megan kept her serious gaze on Erik.

After some "serious" deliberation, he returned her gaze and answered simply, "Of course, what kind of hero would I be if I didn't?"

Megan smiled and nodded her appreciation.

I continued laughing a moment before shaking my head and turning to see Brandy's reaction.

She was struggling and spinning, trying even harder to escape from her bonds, anger burned in her eyes, when we could see them.

"Well, Megan, I hope Erik lives up to his promise, because once Brandy gets out of there, she is so after you. Me too for that matter."

Megan shrugged slightly and glanced at Erik.

"Moving right along… I do believe Emily is left in this round. So, Emily, if you please."

Emily sat in thought for a moment before turning to Erik. "What is your favorite food?"

Erik looked at her in momentary shock.

(A/N: Kudos, you stumped Brandy, Erik, and I… three birds with one stone.)

"Well, Megan, I have never been much for the pleasures of the table. I live for my music and live off only that for weeks on end. When I do indulge I drink Russian tea and eat fruits and vegetables. I have to keep strength to terrorize my managers, don't I?" He smiled once again and turned back to the phone and his on-going composition.

"Well, you heard him, Phans, fruit and Russian tea." I looked around the circle. "Ok, did we get everyone on that round? Yes? Ok… on to dun dun dun Round Number Two!"

Lights flash and more flash pots go off… once again impressing no one.

One person clapped. I looked around the group and found the person before someone shushed her. "Sol!"

The preppy girl looked at me in shock. "What'd I do?"

"You are my new co-host." I looked at the still-fuming Brandy, "For a while anyway."

"Oh… ok." She popped off the couch and hopped up onto the counter beside me. I handed over the microphone. "Ok… I am gonna assume you aren't a total idiot and that you know what to do. Have fun."

Sol took the microphone from me and announced the next question. "Ok, well, we have Ronin the Dark up next. I'm sure she has some deep and philosophical question for our beloved Erik, so listen up. Ronin, if you would." Sol nodded.

Ronin looked darkly at Sol. "Well, moving on now. Erik, what are your views on creatures of the night, whom are misunderstood due to superstitions?"

"I believe that too many times the 'creatures of the night' are simply misunderstood because no one cares to ascertain the truth about them. I know this from my own experiences and can appreciate what they have to endure."

Ronin nodded, "Thank you Erik," and looked back at Sol. "Take it away, prep-girl."

Sol looked at Ronin, mildly angered. "Ok, people, let's get this straight, I am not a prep. Blonde hair and blue eyes does not make a prep. I can't help my genes."

It looked like Sol was about to throw the microphone at Ronin's head, so I grabbed it away from her and patted her back. "It's ok, Sol, no worries. We believe you, don't we, Phans?"

I looked to the audience for help, most of which nodded in agreement. Kalyn took Sol's arm and lead her to her seat.

"Ok, now on with the questions. I believe Ella is next."

Ella cocked her head and thought for a moment. Then, looking as if she would burst with restrained energy, she smiled at Erik. "Have you had stalking issues in the past, or did it just start with Christine? Why her? I am so much better! And, yes, I can sing too! I'll sing to you if you ask me! wink wink (Stalk me, please!)"

Erik backed away, more than a little nervous in the bouncy girl's presence. "I was never truly a stalker. I was protective. I merely wanted to make sure she was happy and that she was never hurt. Then that fop came along and ruined it all."

(A/N: You all knew it was coming… no Phanfic is complete without at leastsome lightRaoul-bashing. And it's all the better because it's Erik.)

Erik continued, "I never once watched her when it would have been inappropriate. I never harmed her. The only time I ever did anything that was close to a stalking manner was when I took her back with me to my home. I haven't treated anyone in such a manner since Christine, and I do not believe I will be anytime soon."

The group looked at Erik in wide-eyed suspicion.

"Ok, on wi-"

Something slammed into my body, knocking me off the countertop.

"What the hell is the big idea, tying me up? I outta hang you. I'm gonna kill you."

"Brandy… get off me. You know I can't die; I'm an immortal, just like you. We'd just fight for the rest of eternity… not the way I plan on spending it either. Now… GET… OFF!"

"Damn you. I'll kill you…"

"No… you won't." I slammed her body backwards into the floor and climbed onto the counter.

She came after me and I held out the microphone. "It's your turn to speak."

She snatched the mike away and climbed up next to me. "Alright… fine. Venus, your turn."

Venus looked at Erik a moment before dropping her calm demeanor and jumping into his lap. "Wanna be MY Angel of Music? I'm a singer too, you know...and I'm in need of singing services if I want to get to that note Christine did at the end of The Phantom of the Opera and sound phenomenal." She paused for a moment, thinking, "I promise not to rape you! That's Brandy's job...plus, Draco Malfoy is my love slave. Who can say no to that?" She finished this last with a wink at the surrounding Phan girls.

Erik carefully lifted her off his lap and carried her back to her seat. Kneeling down in front of her, he looked into her dark, brown eyes. "I won't be your Angel of Music, he is a lie. I will be your tutor if you would promise your unending devotion to your art. And thank you for promising not to rape me; I am uncertain who this Draco Malfoy is, but he is lucky to have you." Standing Erik walked back to his seat.

Brandy looked at Venus with a mixture of malice and, possibly friendship, in her eyes. "Well, lucky girl. She gets her music lessons… but I still get Erik. OW!"

I smacked Brandy in the back of the head. "Get on with it… and remember, you promised not to hurt anyone."

"Fine…fine; next we have Sol. The girl who merely looks like a prep, but really isn't, I swear."

Sol looked a little flustered, but remained calm. "I don't have an exact question I was just wondering if you had any maybe… well… do you, er… do you have any, well, obsessions?"

Erik looked blankly at Sol, "Do you mean obsessions as in how I love my music or something entirely different?"

Sol looked a little odd. "More like odd obsessions. Like, erm, more like, well, fetishes, sorta thing." Her voice had trailed off into something barely above a whisper.

"No, not that I can say. I have no fetishes, as you would call them."

"Oh, ok…" Sol blushed, but soon recovered her composure.

Brandy (who was trying desperately to hide some feathers) and I looked at each other in shock.

"Well," I said, "since we're getting a bit more comfortable together, let's go on. Megan, I do believe it's your turn now."

Megan didn't even hesitate. "I'd like to know a bit about you, Erik... Maybe some stuff about how you became the Phantom in detail, how the traps were built, etc. I like traps. "

"I became the Phantom through rumor; by simply being there. In my early days, I was not so adept at slinking through the shadows, and many people saw me, but never caught me. Soon, I grew to know the Opera House and became more able to slip away. As for my traps, I learned through texts and experimentation to make ingenious pit-falls to trip up any who might attempt to come after me, either to disprove the rumors or to hunt me down. I tried my hand and found I had a natural ability with building; so Iput it to work for myself."

When Erik was finished I spoke up. "Ok, now, kiddies, don't try that at home."

Brandy slapped my head and stole the mike. "Shut up, stupid. Ok, now it's Emily's turn."

"Wait!" I said, "I just have to know. It is SAI you're in, right?"

"Yeah?"

"YAY! I am so your sister! The choir thing is so forgiven." (A/N: I hope it's alright that I worked that in there…)

"Sweet!" Emily waited a moment, "Can I go on?"

"Sure."

Turning back to Erik, she started again. "What did you think of Emmy Rossum's portrayal of Christine in the new movie?"

"Aside from being a brunette and not a blonde; she was impeccable. She sang beautifully, and portrayed Christine very well."

(A/N: Sorry to anyone not agreement with me. I believe she did a wonderful job, except for leaving Erik at the end. I didn't like that part; but what can I do, Leroux writes his way and I write mine.)

Emily nodded, satisfied with the answer.

I looked at Brandy. "Hey, Brandy, I have been hogging the mike; so, in the name of being a good friend, I am letting you take the whole next round. Here you go." I held out the mike.

Brandy and Kalyn both looked at me. In unison, "Are you feeling alright?"

"Perfectly fine. I just don't want to be an attention hog, so take over. Here." I proffered the mike again.

Brandy took it a little suspiciously. "Ok, thanks Songé."

I took a seat on the back of the counter and let Brandy have the limelight.

Shooting me a frightened glance over her shoulder, she started. "Ok, for the final and least anticipated round in Question Time with Erik. We shall begin once more with Ronin."

As Ronin started her question with Erik, I slipped off the counter and out the door quietly.

I slipped away into the dark night.

>>>

Ok, all… that's it… The End.

We are finished here.

Thank you all for reading. It has been fun.

Or not… I know you would kill me without finishing anything.

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I have a few surprises left for you. If I can think up some more fun stuff I will post to you… but I think from here on out will be the storyline.

I thought maybe that would be a good place to let off for now.

I'm already working on the next chapter, so expect it fairly soon. It will be wrap up for the interviews and maybe some Phantom-y fun.

Who wants to see Erik get drunk?

I know I do… Brandy does too…

Not that we are promising anything.

Good night all…

Wait, the redneck joke belongs to Jeff Foxworthy or Bill Engvall, one of them. I just love it cause I would do it…

Ok, done now…

Please R+R… I like seeing feed-back.

Thankees to all of you.


	8. What's That Crazy Songe Up To This Time?

Ch. 7 --- What is that Crazy Songé up to This Time?

Ronin continued with her question, "Got to be a Phan for this one; can I borrow the pun-jab and or mask for a while? Pwease? Puppy dog eyes" Ronin, in a huge break of character, stared at Erik with her "puppy dog eyes."

Erik stared at Ronin, wondering what happened to the calm and quiet Phan he had been speaking with. "I-" He looked at her again. "Brandy took it away from me." He said pointing a thumb over his shoulder. "If you can get it back, you can have it." (A/N: Sorry, slight break of character there; but it seems funny.)

Ronin stared at Brandy for a moment, before nodding.

Brandy looked around the audience for a moment, still not noticing Songé's absence. "Alright, Ella, you're up."

Ella, having gotten rid of Sol, scooted closer to Erik, "Where did you're awesome bed come from? I mean, the whole sleeping in a giant sea shell-looking-thing is hot, but seriously, I WANT ONE!" She latched herself onto Erik's arm and hugged him, staring into his eyes with her biggest, cutest, poutiest (A/N: Is that even a word!) eyes.

With his free arm, Erik reached over and patted her head. "I built mine; but I'm sure I could make you one." (A/N: I cannot personally make you one… try a furniture dealer if you reeeeeeally want one.)

"Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou…" Ella squealed, squeezing Erik's arm even harder.

Erik winced. "Could you please let go, m'dear? You are cutting off circulation to my hand."

Ella gasped and dropped his arm. "I'm so sorry, my most perfect Phantom. I never meant to hurt you." Ella started to grab for Erik again, but he shied away.

"I'm fine. Thank you. Please, I'm alright."

But where was Brandy through this whole glomping episode?

Ah-ha! I see we have yet another visitor.

Glitter swirls through the air Brandy turns, eyes wide. She rushes at the tall figure with very odd hair.

As they disappear behind a row of washers, Kalyn catches the now-flying microphone. (A/N: Not that she needs it right?)

Kalyn climbs onto the counter. "Well, since Songé has run off and Brandy has now occupied herself with The Goblin King, I will be announcing the last round." Kalyn looks out over the audience. Seeing a few blanks stares, she asks, "How many of you know who the Goblin King is?"

Quite a few hands go up.

"For the rest of you, the Goblin King was Brandy's first love. He was in the Labyrinth. You know… the David Bowie movie?"

Receiving nods of recognition, Kalyn decides to proceed. "Venus, it appears to be your turn."

Venus nods thanks to Kalyn.

Turning to Erik, she abandons the calm façade and starts babbling to herself. "My last question...this has GOT to be good...hm..."

Suddenly, she looks up and stares at Erik, "Oh, okay...now in the latest ALW film, why the HECK did Raoul beat you in the sword fight? I mean, COME ON, YOU'RE THE BLOODY PHANTOM!"

Venus was suddenly standing, "Joel S. attempted to humiliate you, didn't he? The fool who put nipples on the Batman suit...agh. How does that make you feel, being portrayed as someone that can be bested in the art of fencing by the FOP that is known as Raoul de Chagny?"

(A/N: Apparently, I am not the only one who dislikes Raoul.)

Kalyn walked over to Venus, "Calm down. We don't want a riot or anything."

"Maybe we do… The swordfight was dumb and Erik should have won."

"Without it you would not have had your film, would you?" Erik spoke up.

Kalyn threw him a thankful glance.

Venus looked at him for a moment, then took her seat.

Erik watched her sit, then continued. "I did not enjoy being beaten by the fop; but without the scene, how could I have declared war upon them. I merely did what I had to do to make the film better for all of my Phans."

Venus stared as Erik quietly went back to my phone.

"Alright, Sol's turn." Motioning to Sol, she handed over the microphone.

Sol jumped up and walked over to Erik. "May I have this dance?"

Erik looked up at Sol. "Erm…"

She pulled him up by the hand as a waltz started on the overhead.

Five minutes later, Sol and a very confused Erik sat back down… and, shockingly, Brandy was still nowhere in sight.

Kalyn, seeming to have lost a bit of the upper-hand to the obsessive Phans, was now just intent on getting this interview over and getting the two who understood these people back in charge. "Apparently, Megan has the floor."

Megan looked up from her notepad and, looking a bit shocked that it was her turn, said, "Dunno... Does Eric like any kind of cookies?"

Erik looked up from the cell phone composition. "Hm… I really have not had a chance to investigate that; but I will chance a guess with sugar cookies. Yes… sugar cookies." Erik went back to his composition, leaving the Phans scrambling to procure sugar cookies at the last minute.

After everyone had taken their seats again, each Phan hiding boxes of sugar cookies behind them, Kalyn continued with the interview. "Emily, if you would."

Emily nodded and asked in a serious tone. "What's the best part about living under an opera house on the shore of a subterranean lake?"

Without looking up, Erik answered in a terse tone, "Privacy."

Brandy popped up from behind her "love-blind," otherwise known as the row washers, "Erik, play nice or it's the closet for you."

"Madame, I am a Creature of Shadows and Darkness; why would I fear your little closet?"

Brandy looked at Erik with her Puppy-Dog-Eyes-of-Doom and Pouty-Lip of Destruction.

"I will not be wavered."

Brandy walked over to Erik, still pouting. "B-b-but, you promised to be nice… for me."

"Fine, I will be nice." Erik turned back to Emily, "I do believe it would be the privacy afforded by the remote location; not only when I need to escape the stares of others but also when I wish to compose and teach my music."

Brandy took Erik's hand and patted it, "Very nice. Good Phantom." Turning to Kalyn, she said, "Ok, I'll take it from here."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, no. You and Songé took off, leaving me to run the interview. It's my turn for the limelight. You go back to schmoozing with your Goblin King and leave the interview to me."

"Fine; but have fun with knowing what to do next."

Kalyn turned away to glory in her triumph. Realization snuck over her features.

Brandy, who had been shamelessly flirting with both the Goblin King and Erik, was suddenly hit in the head with the flying microphone.

Casually picking up it up, Brandy looked at the microphone then at Kalyn. "I told you so. And keep in mind, Mexicans have hard heads; hitting us in the head is to no avail to you." Brandy climbed back onto the stage. "Now… question time for the rest of you…"

Suddenly, the Phantom of the Opera was blaring over the loud-speaker, making the windows rattle with the sheer force of the sound.

Brandy rolled her eyes. "O gods." She looked out at the parking lot.

The bus was the only vehicle in the lot.

Brandy walked out to the parking lot with Erik, the Goblin King, and the rest of the Phans in tow.

Looking around, she saw nothing. Brandy yelled, "I know you're there. Now show yourself."

The music somehow transferred itself to the outside as an old-fashioned carriage pulled by a team of matching black horses pulling around the corner and into the lot.

"How did I guess?" Brandy muttered.

I was atop the box, driving the team on. As I saw everyone awaiting my arrival, I slowed and slid the carriage to a stop. I jumped down, my cape fluttering in the non-existent breeze.

"I come bearing booze…" I shouted to the crowd.

Many cheered. "Finally," I thought.

"I also bring more guests. So interview time will be extended."

Quiet groans. "Shut up."

With a flourish, I threw open the carriage door and handed two more Phans down. "I present to you, Lady Tolwen…"

Lady Tolwen raised herself to her full five feet three inches. Turquoise eyes stared out of her olive-toned face. "Hello," she said calmly.

…And Stalker."

Stalker cocked her purple streaked head to the side and, waving, said "Hey." Her style was very goth with Jack Off Jill and lots of studs.

Alright… since this chapter is seeming to go on forever, I'm gonna leave off here and update on like Monday… Promise.

And I (Songé) apologize that this has been forever and a day… there were some serious issues I had to work through and, sadly, the farthest thing from my mind was writing…

But now, I can get back to what really matters and continue with my art… if you can call this art.

Wish Brandy well… she's having some tough times what with graduation and all… it's real stressful for her.

Alright, thanks for being so understanding (if you are) and poopie to you (if you aren't.)

I swear a better and longer chappie… finishing out interview time… next time.

But no worries… We aren't getting rid of you all so soon… hopefully you will all stick around for the up and coming conflict… defending Erik… Oop, dammit, giving up the plot secrets… as if even I know them at this point…

Will see you soon…

Thankees and byes.


	9. Let's All Get Drunk

Let's all get Drunk…

and Apparently Brandy and I have Magical Powers

>

I clapped my hands together. "Well, let's all get back inside, shall we?"

A cheer greeted these words as the assembled crowd walked back into the Laundromat. Brandy held back, along with Erik and our Goblin King.

"I see we have yet another guest," I said, motioning to the King.

"Unannounced, of course," Brandy answered.

"Of course."

Brandy spied the boxes of assorted alcohol stacked on the back of the carriage. "I see the party is going to get a little crazier. Want some help?"

"No, I think I have it." I turned to face the boxes. Lifting my hand, I started to mutter.

Brandy raised a hand to block Erik, who had started towards me. "No, she's stubborn. Give her a minute to beg."

Sweat started to bead on my forehead as the boxes rose in the air.

My face contorted.

"Alright… HELP!"

Brandy raised a hand and started the chant back up as the boxes shuddered in the air, the glass inside tinkling.

Erik stared, jaw slack, at the spectacle before him. As the boxes slowly faded away (later to re-appear inside the Laundromat,) we lowered our hands and walked inside.

As the doors opened, happily confused chatter greeted us. Compared to the silence of the night, it was deafening to me. Glancing at Brandy, I jumped onto the countertop with a flourish of my cape.

"Friends and Fellow Phans, I bid you welcome… (pause) … again. Please, help yourselves to refreshment. It has been provided for you pleasure. We have two new guests to finish out the interview. Then we shall see where the night takes us." I bowed yet again and resumed the interviews.

"Since Lady Tolwen has only one question, we shall begin with her... Lady." I bowed.

With a slight nod of her head, the Lady looked to Erik. "Erik, do you like English tea or Russian tea better and why?"

"Russian; I find English tea to be colorless and boring, while the Russian has a life more suited to my tastes." Erik met the Phan's steady gaze.

Her olive skin tinted the slightest pink and she turned her eyes away.

Brandy took the microphone. "And now for Stalker. I only hope for her sake it isn't Erik Stalker."

Stalker looked at Brandy defiantly. "As a matter of fact, I am Vampire Stalker."

"Oh… then that's okay. Continue."

Stalker rolled her eyes and looked to Erik.

"Ok, for my first question… Since you've been a few places before you settled into Paris, what were some of your favorite countries/places you've been and why?"

"I do believe my favorite city is Paris, hence why I came to settle here. It has the culture I crave and is home to my beloved Opera House. As for places I have visited, I enjoyed each of them in their own way; but I believe Persia is my favorite, I learned many skills there that I have found very useful."

Stalker nodded in agreement, "Alright… fair enough. Next, some girls are obsessive stalkers and tend to follow and touch you a lot. You seem to put up a front that you hate it but do you ever actually enjoy the Phans?"

"In general, I do not enjoy being a sex symbol for my Phans. I have made connections with a select few of my Phans; typically, the ones who could maintain a calm and collected aura about themselves."

(A/N: I sincerely hope that was the "enjoyment" you were hinting at.)

"Third and final question then. If you hadn't been through all the troubles of life, because of your looks, and people accepted you as a normal person; would you still be the same person you are or would you be someone else?"

Erik sat a moment in thought. "I do believe I would be someone else with an entirely different past. For is it not the environment that makes the personality? Had I not been born with a hideous face I could have felt the joy of a mother's love, I would not have been exiled and ridiculed, and I would never have lived beneath the Opera House. I would have experienced a different view on life and do believe I would have been a completely different person." He smiled a charismatic half-smile. "Luckily for you all, I was born this way and did experience my life as I did.

(A/N: I hope that was a suitably impressive answer… I just finished a semester of Psych and that was about all I learned. Oh, and I felt bad because the answers were kinda starting to suck... or so I think.)

Stalker sat back, her curiosity seemingly sated. Megan was taking notes as she had been all night, and the other Phans were pondering over what they had recently learned from Erik.

Brandy walked up to the stage. I stared at her in shock because I hadn't noticed her leaving. She carried a tray full of tall glasses, each with an amber liquid inside. She passed the drinks around the circle. "Now, no drinking yet. We have to make a toast."

Everyone tool their glass from the tray. We're gonna go with the extra Phans just magically ending up with a glass… yeah, that's it… magic… (shifty eyes.)

Brandy took the microphone and holding her glass aloft said, "Alright everyone… To Erik, for spending his night here answering our questions."

Everyone's glass was in the air. The air rang with voices. "To Erik."

Everyone took a drink from the glasses. Brandy managed to down her glass, I took a small drink and winced as the bitter liquid flowed over my tongue, Kalyn didn't even taste the beer, instead she sat it down and ignored it. I looked around and chuckled as a few faces took on a greenish tint. Mine and Brandy's eyes landed on Erik at the same time.

He had matched Brandy, drinking the entire glassful in a single gulp. He held out the empty cup. "Another, please."

Brandy and I looked at each other, knowing that the evening would be getting very interesting… very soon. I ran to the back and grabbed a case and a cooler. I didn't want to miss a minute.

This looks like a perfect place to leave off.

>glances at the page count

THREE! Dammit…

(shifty eyes then thinking)

They'll hunt me down and torture me if I leave it here… Sol will even make me into El Foppo's nursemaid if I don't come up with a decent chapter.

Must… continue…writing… GAH!

Alright… you guys win…

Not the End…

Here goes nothin' 

I poured Erik another beer. Brandy stood on the stage, "And now, at this point, we will be taking questions from the audience."

I turned and looked out over the audience.

Nothing.

"Hm… apparently our guests covered all bases." I whispered to Brandy.

She looked at me, "Apparently."

Slowly a hand came up in the back of the room. "Please, I have a question," a timid voice said.

"Your name, friend," I said.

"Morgan," came the answer.

"Well, Morgan," Brandy answered, "What be your question?" (A/N: I sense a pirate moment coming on.)

Morgan pushed her way through the crowd to be heard better. Leaving a wake of angered Phans that she didn't even notice, she stared at Erik. "Please, I have to know…"

Erik set aside his cell phone symphony. "Yes, dear, what is it you wish to know?"

Morgan's eyes dropped to the floor. "I need to know why you ever loved Christine?"

Erik stared hard at the Phan. Then his gaze slipped away. His eyes found me in my Phantom costume, then Brandy, and finally the glass of beer. He drained it quickly before answering. "I cannot tell you exactly why I loved her. I can only tell you this; when you love someone, you know it deeply and completely. You can never choose where your heart will love." (A/N: I only answer that way because it is the way I feel about someone... don't ask, cause I ain't tellin'.)

I turned away from the group and cast a glance out at the darkened street. I grabbed my beer and slammed it back.

Erik had swallowed his third beer and was composing again.

Brandy was still standing on the counter, quite a few beer bottles at her feet. "Well," she said, without the slightest trace of a slur (A/N: which I will forever hate her for… that girl can slam 'em back with no thought of hangover or anything.) "Are there any more questions that we would wish to ask of our dear Erik? "Looking around, she saw no other hands raised, "Alright then, let's get this party back into swing."

I climbed onto the stage, already tripping slightly over my cape, and pulled Kalyn up after me.

I stole the microphone. "I took the li-li-li-li- freedom of repla-la-lacing the Hot Purses… nonono… Pockets (yeah that's it) with something less… less…less…" I turned to Kalyn. "What was I saying? Why am I up here?"

(A/N: I get philosophical when I get drunk.)

Kalyn rolled her eyes. "You are Songé. You threw this party (no one has any idea why.) You were making an announcement about the food. Now let's go contemplate the dust bunnies under the vending machine." She took me by the arm and gently led me away.

>

Alright, I have gotta leave off here…

If I get to much farther I am gonna wind up getting into Drunken Erik time and I have yet to find a good reason to get him drunk…

Although Morgan's question was a good start (much thanks.)

I am gonna take some time to answer some reviews… Mind you, if you don't read the reviews then little of this will make sense.

To Eriksleadinglady (Nicole) It is real… I do have Erik trapped in my Laundromat… and I do this kind of thing all the time… oO … and thanks we liked the idea too

And don't Miss Brandy be talkin' out her rear? She hasn't locked anyone up nor has she grounded anyone. I am not tryin' to make her a fop… I can't help some personalities.

Now for Emily's Singing Relfection. Yes, all they want is chop sticks… the eating kind, not the hair kind.

Anything is possible if you believe enough (but my suggestion would be to read the manual well, Brandy and I set a few on a friend of ours unintentionally and we have on just reined them in.)

Yes, Brandy raped him; but we have a saying here at the Laundromat… "You can't rape the willing." And if Erik wasn't willing I don't think anything would happen.

You can trust me here… any duel Brandy is in she will win it. We have had many… I have never won and I am a trained fighter.

NO, Erik has not escaped… he rather likes it here with us.

And, yes, there are male Phantom Phans… although they were mainly modeled after a friend of mine from school.

Finally, yes, males are on I have seen their accounts… although to my knowledge none of them read my work (if they do then they have never responded.)

One last thing, I read your profile and was so excited to see that you were from Dublin… if you have Instant Messenger (of the AOL or Yahoo variety) then you should message me (mithralas2931, in both cases) if not email is great (mithralas2931at would so love to hear what Ireland is really like… see I am part Irish (it's my favorite part of my heritage) and I have always wanted to visit.

To Megan, The pen IS mightier than the sword; but then again, why leave doubt… bring on the bazookas! Tanks, too, if you can get 'em.

Alright, not really much more to answer so I am leaving a few requests… if you want a more specific part then review and let me know… I want to keep working with the extra characters, but don't really know where to take the characters.

As usual I am open to you IM'ing me and talking about ideas.

I guess that's all I have to say… Aside from sorry that these last couple have been kinda slipshod work… We're gonna kick it up a notch… BAM!

And that is the last time I quote Emeril… oO

Thanks for reading…


	10. Lots of Sexy Strippiness

Chapter Whatever-the-Hells-This-Is

Sorry it's been so long… my lappy has been down (still is) but Brandy has been just about ready to kill me to finish this story, so here goes…

This will be last chappy… You've all been great. There will be no plot-line to this (mainly cause if I ever had one I have forgotten it long ago… sorry.)

Hope you all had fun…

And if this is too raunchy for you then you can hunt Brandy down and make her life crazy cause she stole the keyboard and wouldn't give it back...

Chapter very last one (I lost count) so I hope you all enjoyed it!

Brandy and Kalyn are walking around, dispensing drinks to the masses and mingling with everyone.

I am still lying by the vending machines and carrying on conversations with the dust-bunnies (A/N: Yes, this is possible… We never clean under there so the dusties have very complicated personalities and even communities.)

The Goblin-King and Erik are sizing each other up.

Erik continues composing on my cell and drinking the liquor.

Phans keep swooning over Erik, who is getting slowly warmer and therefore shedding some of the more pointless clothing. Brandy walks over and stands by him when she notices.

Finding this very odd, she looks at the thermostat to check the temperature. "SONGE! What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm cold," I answered my hand raising the heat more.

"Liar… you just want to see Erik with no shirt on."

"So! You do too!"

Red Sharpies started pelting me and I cowered and hid.

Brandy started screaming. "You forget, I already have! I rap- I mean, we shared an innocent moment or two. Where's my Corona and camcorder?"

"Well, no one else has! Dammit! Everyone's enjoying themselves and apparently he's drunk enough."

Brandy looked over at Erik to see that he was now down to his frilly shirt and tight pants. The shirt was unbuttoned down to his waist and everyone could see just about everything (he looked like one of those guy on the covers of the Harlequin romance novels,) so it hardly mattered. Turning back to me, she said, "All right, if you friggin insist, but I must warn you, if one Phan puts her hand on my Phantom…" She turned back to watch over Erik and make sure the Phans weren't getting too close.

Seeing the horrible red glare come into her eyes I quickly set up red-rope perimeters that left me, Brandy and Kalyn on the inside. "Hurry you buffoon, they're surging and I'm almost out of Sharpies!" Brandy yelled. One Sharpie flew at my head. "Damn, there goes another one."

Rubbing my head I walked over to another control panel and turned on music. Fast punk-rock poured out of the speakers and everyone started dancing.

Erik stood and slipped off his shirt, showing his bare chest. He started dancing around, twirling his shirt over his head before throwing it out into the crowd. Phans started tearing at each other to get their hands on it.

The Goblin-King, not to be shown up, let his cape fall to the ground and started to un-button his shirt (you know the three that are there) and slipped it off. Brandy screamed, "Jareth! What the hell are you doing!" at the same time I screamed "Take it all off!"

He froze. Brandy and I shared a look.

Brandy conceded defeat and shrugged her shoulders. "Do what you must Goblin man but make it hot!"

I stared at her, bug-eyed. "What the hell are you saying?" I looked atJareth,"Ooooh, that is sexy-hot!"

"Yeah, well, I'm wanna spike the ratings. Oh, by the way, you aren't allowed to watch. Go talk to the dust bunnies."

I stamped off, muttering about spoilt times and not-very-nice friends. I was only talking to the dust bunnies about my ex- best friend for about two minutes when I heard the intro music. "Oh please don't let that be Brandy up there shedding her clothes," I pleaded with the gods. When I stood to look my mouth dropped open in stunned surpriseness (yes, that's a word, deal with it) There, between the Goblin King and Phantom, was Pete Wentz and Ioan Gruffudd (that would be the bassist from Fallout Boy and Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four for those who didn't know)

"Did you really think I would banish you when there were nekkid men around?" I turned to see Brandy standing beside me with a smug grin and a Guinness held up in reconciliation. "You were complaining about me to the dust-bunnies, weren't you?" At my guilty look she continued. "You have no friggin faith in me!" She was about to start wailing on me when all four men dropped their pants.

"HOLY BALLS, BATMAN!" Brandy screamed before leaping for the stage. I raced after her, scrambling to get on top of the dryers before she did. "No, me first!" I yelled as I grabbed her hair. "No me you filthy slug, they want me!" As we rolled upon the floor beating the crap out of one another, Kalyn looked on amused and sipped her daiquiri.

"They'll never learn," she sighed as she shook her head.

After many hours of good food, good drinks, many bathroom breaks, raping, willing sex, and Sharpie pelting I headed over to my two best friends and propped myself on the counter. "Well, it's not exactly the night I had imagined but I think everyone's happy."

Kalyn nodded.

Brandy looked at me. "Who gave you permission to end it you selfish heifer! I haven't had my fill of booze and boys." At her lustful look, the men cowered and covered their genitalia. Cries of mercy came from their huddled group and Brandy shook her head disgusted. "Lightweights."

"So, do you have any other ideas?"

"SHOTS!" Brandy yelled, holding up a bottle of Tequila and a tray of shot-glasses.

There were cheers from the crowd as Brandy and I started setting up tables with lime and salt, glasses and Tequila for everyone to get in on the action.

Conversation surged over the music, mainly about who was hotter- Jareth, Erik, Pete or Ioan. People who had gained friends over the evening started sitting at the tables with each other continuing conversations and starting shots.

I went and turned the music down so people could hear each other and started taking shots with Brandy and Kalyn.

Another Few Hours Later

People were starting to doze off at their tables, liquor spilling from tilted glasses and dripping onto the floor.

I turned to Brandy, "I think the party is officially over," I said, pulling blankets (complete with Erik's face on them) out of the bag I had brought in off the carriage.

After making sure everyone was comfortably tucked onto the bus, Brandy, Kalyn, and I joined Erik and Jareth. (Songe had hidden Pete and Ioan in the back for later but that's a different story altogether, hehehe)

"I think it's time for you to get him back where he belongs, Jareth," I said, reaching over and pulling first Erik, then Jareth into a quick hug.

Brandy lunged at both planting kisses on them that would make porn stars jealous.

Kalyn stood back, waiting for the two men to leave. "Alright, Brandy, it's time to let them go. Jareth has a world to rule and Erik has an Opera House to terrorize." She tied unsuccessfully to pry Brandy away but after a few strenuous tries we were able to get her off.

When we were no longer hanging off the two, Jareth waved his hand, bringing a bubble-crystal out of nowhere. "Sweet dreams, enchantresses." He blew the bubble at us, then both men disappeared in a cloud of smoke and shimmering glitter, leaving us to fall into contented slumber.

FIN

Alright, once again, sorry so long and all, but lappy is broken… only reason I can get this up is cause I'm uploading at Brandy's house (better internet… must kill dial up…)

Well, hope you look for me in the future, when I'm better prepared and much, MUCH more organized.

(Hands out Phantom dolls and soundtracks)


End file.
